The Blessing I have

Shouldn’t it now be the time the universe come with that perfect man I want now?

 Like I need him…no wait I want him to be tall chocolate brown, like those NBA players and with a walk of the overly confident Rappers.

Life is like this?

I have been waiting but while I was waiting I decided to embark the journey of finding what I want instead of being content of what the universe knew what I needed. He was perfect and nowhere near to what I pictured and lied to myself what I needed. His ability to love me for who I am, erased that silly rule that I made of “He will be perfect if he has big sexy muscles”.


His ability to live life to the fill no matter what inspired me to deal with my own issues and allowed me the chance to erase the pain that my past made me to disbelieve and lose hope in love. No matter how hard I fought my feelings and my inner voice of “he’s the one and he is a good man” he waited. Emotional intimacy is thee most beautiful gift that any man can give his woman. Being connected like that before sexual intimacy is just precious and amazing and he gave me that. For the first in my life I became speechless and shamelessly in love with what God blessed me with, my boyfriend and he’s heart. I prayed for him as much as I prayed for myself.


I have my family and God in my heart, the only space I got left is for the man that God has designed for me and only me and you know what? He is that man. My love story wasn’t one any movies could come near nor understand. It was simple and as beautiful as the love story between a man and a woman. My Bible scripture for him which is written across my heart is 1 Corinthians 13:13, “So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love”.


My heart inter locks within his and my soul transcends which connects so beautiful with the rhythm of how both of our hearts beats for each other. Our hearts don’t beat together, his sometimes beats first to lead and remind of how much of a great man he is and mine gives him that space and allows him to be that man what he wants to be and a man I truly love for myself. I am his woman and I am the one that will give him strength when he feels that he’s too weak to carry on.
Second guessing him would be like doubting that there is a God that loves me. When the time is right, our marriage will begin with our Father God and should he feel that we are not meant to be, I trust and hope we will go our separate ways with our hearts content.
I am in love and I am loved.

Zuma Painting, Disrespectful

The Painting of Jacob Zuma, South Africa’s President.

This is just disrespectful and the fact that people are using the excuse of freedom of expression is just disrespectful to our constitution. The man is a father, husband and a president, yes he has made mistakes and some are not those of a president but how many leaders has had affairs while they were married like, Bill Clinton to name a few and none of them has been disrespected and humiliated in this manner. That is defamation to the max and that is my opinion I don’t care who says what. We live in a society that is very quick to judge and see things at face value. Some South Africans use the phrase “respect is earned “too much also. I feel that we as South Africans don’t know what to really fight for because at the end of the day we have a lot more problems and troubles that the painter could have expressed that could draw up much attention but here we are arguing about a painting that is very disrespectful. Couldn’t we paint a picture of poverty, unemployment, HIV/AIDS? We need to focus our energy on real things and stop looking for excuses that can distract our attention on the real things that this country need to focus on and deal with.

22 Years old and still a Virgin

So I am 22 years old and I am still a virgin.
Yes you heard me, I’m 22 years old and still a virgin. While some might say it’s an achievement, I take it as a way of life.

Some ask me, ” but how did you do it?” You see I grow up having a lot of people around me, while children in suburbans watched documentaries to influence their lives, good or bad, my influence was my township or “Hood” for the hip hop lovers or wanna be american lingo type people.
I grew up in an area where drug lords and gangsters (of course accompanied by sex workers which society might say are hoes and bitches) lived a life of fast cars and money. Money that I thought will help my family from the financial problems we were experiencing, Until by God’s grace my parents were able to provide (my sisters and brothers and I) a better life but before that, seeing young girls fall pregnant at a young age was a norm to my eyes. Seeing my friends get pregnant and have their boyfriends abandon them because of that became a norm to my eyes, so I decided to set goals for myself that my friends were not able to and let that be my focus on that, rather than sex.


I took baby steps, I told myself “after matric, I will break my virginity” so I passed my matric and than I said “When I get to varsity” and I got to varsity and than I told myself, “when I get a job” and now I have it. I always set goals in my life that enable me to focus on things that will make me a better person and bring me a step closer to a better life. Of course I lost relationships and got played that broken record of “if you don’t sleep with me than you don’t love me” and yes it hurt when I heard those words coming out from that person who I thought they loved me as much as I loved them, but from strength I drew from my friends experiences I was able to show them the door and tell my ” so called” boyfriends back than, ” I guess I don’t love you that much and its over”. It never was easy but as I know look back it was all worth it. I am still waiting for that person not to break it to but to give it as a gift to him. The night were I will share to him, my inner and deeper self both physically and emotionally. Enjoying together that process were two hearts becoming one and embarking a journey of pleasure. Every touch will be a reminder of how much I love him and most importantly how much I respect him. Every touch I will enjoy and I will be in a space where I will allow him to enjoy me all he wants because it will be my gift to him to have. He will be my Adam and I will be his Eve as the way our beloved God intended it to be. Genesis!!!


Together we will write our own love story but all this will be done after we both stand forward in front of God with a priest in front us, exchanging vows that shall never be broken until the Lord, Our Father God decides our journey together as one must end but the story of our love shall continues in heaven.
Will I ever find him? Society will always tell you, “you will never find the right one” but I am here to tell society that “Sindiswa Nene will find the right one”
I am 22 years old and I am still a virgin. No it’s not an achievement, it is a way of life, my life.