22 Years old and still a Virgin

So I am 22 years old and I am still a virgin.
Yes you heard me, I’m 22 years old and still a virgin. While some might say it’s an achievement, I take it as a way of life.

Some ask me, ” but how did you do it?” You see I grow up having a lot of people around me, while children in suburbans watched documentaries to influence their lives, good or bad, my influence was my township or “Hood” for the hip hop lovers or wanna be american lingo type people.
I grew up in an area where drug lords and gangsters (of course accompanied by sex workers which society might say are hoes and bitches) lived a life of fast cars and money. Money that I thought will help my family from the financial problems we were experiencing, Until by God’s grace my parents were able to provide (my sisters and brothers and I) a better life but before that, seeing young girls fall pregnant at a young age was a norm to my eyes. Seeing my friends get pregnant and have their boyfriends abandon them because of that became a norm to my eyes, so I decided to set goals for myself that my friends were not able to and let that be my focus on that, rather than sex.


I took baby steps, I told myself “after matric, I will break my virginity” so I passed my matric and than I said “When I get to varsity” and I got to varsity and than I told myself, “when I get a job” and now I have it. I always set goals in my life that enable me to focus on things that will make me a better person and bring me a step closer to a better life. Of course I lost relationships and got played that broken record of “if you don’t sleep with me than you don’t love me” and yes it hurt when I heard those words coming out from that person who I thought they loved me as much as I loved them, but from strength I drew from my friends experiences I was able to show them the door and tell my ” so called” boyfriends back than, ” I guess I don’t love you that much and its over”. It never was easy but as I know look back it was all worth it. I am still waiting for that person not to break it to but to give it as a gift to him. The night were I will share to him, my inner and deeper self both physically and emotionally. Enjoying together that process were two hearts becoming one and embarking a journey of pleasure. Every touch will be a reminder of how much I love him and most importantly how much I respect him. Every touch I will enjoy and I will be in a space where I will allow him to enjoy me all he wants because it will be my gift to him to have. He will be my Adam and I will be his Eve as the way our beloved God intended it to be. Genesis!!!


Together we will write our own love story but all this will be done after we both stand forward in front of God with a priest in front us, exchanging vows that shall never be broken until the Lord, Our Father God decides our journey together as one must end but the story of our love shall continues in heaven.
Will I ever find him? Society will always tell you, “you will never find the right one” but I am here to tell society that “Sindiswa Nene will find the right one”
I am 22 years old and I am still a virgin. No it’s not an achievement, it is a way of life, my life.

I am a Survivor not a victim

I never thought I would be a price tag, walking around like a super model showing casing the latest tends but only focus is my sexual abilities with men I could easy mistaken to be my father without any biological and emotional connection. 

My feet and eyes along with my ever changing passport can bring out jealously towards any travel agent as I have been everywhere you can think of without even writing a cheque for it.  First Class? Please I give a whole new meaning to that. Like Jay Z, I was one to the next one before I could say I got a million ways to get it. My name is Zodwa for now and this is my story.

I remember this day as if it was yesterday. My friends and I went to town to window shop and pretend we had money to afford anything what we desired. A man who was dressed well in brands names I couldn’t even pronounce approached us and with a simple “Hello” we were all his attention. He told us stories about the big city life but I was only interested about Jozi the Gold City of South Africa. I wanted to know about it all, does it really have gold and are the houses and building made out of gold.  He told me that I can make my dreams come true only if I get myself there and I will make my parents proud of me.  The man told us that he is willing to help us in anyway free of charge and if we didn’t have family in the city, he will provide us with the accommodation expenses.  With the political state of Zimbabwe, alongside my family income nothing was holding me back from embarking a journey that will lead me to riches, so I thought but to my surprise!

 I packed my things and quietly got out of my house. I turned my back to take the last look at my house than continued to begin my journey. I met up with my friends at a nearby bus stop. He arrived and we got it but one of my friends Thandeka decided in the last minute to turn down the offer to go as she couldn’t picture leaving home without her parents’ blessings. I hugged and kissed her, “I promise I will come back, tell my parents that I had to do this for me and them.”

We arrived in Jozi and damn it  was big, I mean everything was huge and I now knew why they called it the “Big City” filled with life.  Suddenly the tone of the man changed as well his eys. He took us to this house crammed with other girls but they were in pretty bad shaped that made boxers themselves look sexy after a boxing match. They all had fear in their eyes, some even ashamed to even look as us.  One girl came close to me and said” so what did the white man tell you?”

I told her the story with excitement next thing I know he whole room packed with girls laughed at me as if I was a standup comedian.  ‘”You silly stupid girl, soon you will regret this but in a couple of months you will get used to it but at least he was creative with you, us on the other hand he was straight forward” the all said.  My skin began to crumble and my hair stood up and I silently asked her to tell her story but she replied by saying “there is no point to tell you my revision because at the end our conclusions are the same, with the same characters”

After those words I couldn’t sleep one wink and started to question why I am here.  Why these girls in these conditions and what did Pinky mean when she said I will regret but get over this experience. Morning came with the answers I was looking for that later was regretted for even been thought for. We were told to take off our clothes and I mean all off and walk up and down.those whom were still virgins were separated from those who have already been sexually active. Next we got new names, mine was Sara and told to get ready as I was leaving tomorrow, but where am I going because I am where I want to be, Johannesburg.

I and a couple of girls were taken to O.R Tambo International airport and were consciously remembered not to relieve our real names as trouble will occur if we did not obey the rules. We boarded the plane accompained of course by three men. The plane flew to Durban and that’s how I entered in to the world of human trafficking, the beginning of my nightmare. We were at work the minute we landed, got taken to dinner by high profile men some maybe you know but will not mention them as that will cause a battle I am not ready to fight.  The man I was assigned to seem nice, he took me back to his place and we had dinner. For the first few months I thought I was in heaven but suddenly the dinner stopped and the shopping. One night he came into my room and demanded sex. I said no, that answer was responded by a slap right across the face. He asked again but I still maintained my answer next thing I know he was on top of me and began what he wanted to do all along with me. There, my first was my first rape and there was more to come of course with other men. I hate myself everyday not because the men that I was sold to every now and then raped and treated me like a dg but I hated myself because I was so stubborn. Why did I believe the man that promised me a better life? Why didn’t I get off the car like Thandeka? I should have not agreed to this at all but I could have been or should have been were not going to help me or every night I started to dream on how I will escape.

It was Friday and that was the day where we made most money and it was going to be my lucky day. My customer of course came to pick up his product, if only he knew that it would be his last.  After dinner we went home to have sex, so he thought. While he was getting in the mood, I turned around and stabbed him in the chest over and over again. I kept on thinking about my first night, how I was raped and where men treated me even less of a human being. I am not sorry for what I did in fact I would do it again in a heartbeat. My name is Zodwa used to known as Sara, and I am a human trafficking and rape survivor. 

Whatever

I recently saw a tweet on twitter said some of the greater things in life are unseen that’s why you close your eyes when you kiss. Whatever dude! I mean like get real that is not true…well for me its not. Kissing the first time was great but as time went on it seemed as if I was counting the days until this activity would end. Yes of course I get the feeling of excitement and thinking that this is the night where I break my virginity but than reality spoils and rescues me. Well, we all have them (even us guys too). The problem here is when certain women allow their emotions to guideall of their actions and when things go south, they have to work harder to undo the damage. When emotions guide ALL your actions, there’s mostly always more to everything as far as you’re concerned. If he calls more often than he does on one particular day, it maybe means he’s done something wrong. If he asks too many questions about one of your friends, he probably has issues with her or some hidden agenda. The date was the 10th of December year 2010 time (no you don’t have to know all the details about that). He logged on Mxit and my heart jumped because truth to be told I never got over him and funny enough and scary at the same time I never will. He told me he wants another chance to try again in our relationship and suddenly instead of being happy I felt fear.

Fear of disappointment and love not from him though, from me. In the past I got so hurt and messed up in past relationship that by my own I developed an emotion of “I don’t care anymore”. To elaborate for

you this means that I dated guys but will end things within two months because I didn’t want things to go

any further. Secondly this emotion also made me feel ok and kind of great to cheat because at the end I wasn’t in this till the end in fact I wasn’t in it for the beginning. Brave I know but inside I was dying and yearning for true love. You see when you are single with no one there to comfort you romantically; you tend to see a lot of couples publicly displaying affection and love. I wanted to kill every single couple that I saw because they indirectly reminded me of what I am missing so dearly. I missed it yes but I was not even going to embark on that journey of love, not at all. I know people say true love has its ups and downs but when it hits you it’s hard to ignore it. WHATEVER!! I stopped being a fan of Cinderella stories long before I could say “wow that’s so sweet”. I am not going to wait or hope ad pray that my so called soul mate will come because love is not for everyone, least of all me.

Nothing will make you feel better and more in love than reuniting after a breakup, it really

does add spice and sparkle to a relationship so they.....

Chris Brown..F.A.M.E

No one can deny the fact Chris Brown is very talented besides his physical activities that we wont discuss about. Whether being praised for his brilliant live performances or scolded for his notorious actions, Brown has been the focus of media attention since his debut. However, the entertainer has managed to channel these pressures into a body of work that may very well be his best album to date. F.A.M.E is safely to say one of the best works in his career and puts me in a higher platform than he was.
Brown has not abandoned his Urban roots in favor of finding success on the Pop bandwagon. Instead, he provides a healthy mix of material that features several Hip-Hop and R&B tracks, most of which he co-wrote himself.
Indeed, most of the additions to this album actually weaken it instead of helping Brown’s cause, a point that also applies to his collaborators. Justin Bieber’s flat, emotionless and blatantly annoying attempts at singing almost ruin the drum-driven ‘Next To You’, which was brilliantly produced by The Messengers.
Once consumers manage to look pass the media propaganda, he could very well enjoy similar success to Usher’s Grammy Award-winning ‘Raymond vs Raymond’ LP. Fans may be his everything as the ‘F.A.M.E’ acronym suggests but a platinum plaque and Grammy gold would certainly be an enjoyable bonus.

Nigga vs Kaffir

America has really started a trend that everyone especially in South Africa love saying, and I mean it. Nigga, nigga and nigga is one of the most favorite lingo word among young South Africans and some will refer them to be coconuts but that's another topic for another day.
Anyway for years I have been hearing this word in rap music and American movies and they way they said it was I must admit was very cool and entertaining to say the most and of course it would make anyone want to act like that in public.  In high school was when it become “the word” to say to your friends and when South Africa hip-hop was on a rise the word was said left right and center.
I am now older and no I am not wiser but ke the interactive  of the word is becoming stronger and stronger especially in universities nigga.
The thing I do not understand is when black South Africans get offensive when they are called kaffir but they walk around proud with the heads held up high when they are called nigga. Eish! as Kurt William would say remixed my Sindiswa Nene, there  is nothing worse than a smart dump nigga.....ha.a ke do not  get me started  with a dump kaffir

nigga and kaffir is the  same thing do not get offended when I call you  kaffir instead of nigga
"nigga wats up"..."kaffir unjani wena " see yafana man thi

I want to be white sana......

Sometime me does wish i was white. Yes i said it i wish i was white but not skin colour but hey i wouldn’t mind the hair. Before you judge listen why i say i wish i was white. You see white people have what we call black people Ubuntu. They know how to take care of each other without wanting anything in return. Like Chris Rock says a white man gets wealthy, he builds Wal-Marts and makes other white people have some motherfucking money. A brother gets rich, he buys some motherfucking jewelry. They have this ability to support each other without getting jealous or better yet killing each other. We on the other, we rather die than see another black person succeed in life. Gossiping ke is one of our best departments, we love gossiping about other people to make us feel better, and serious we do.
You would think after all we went through as black people, we would have each other’s back kodwa no that’s not the case.  Let me make another example that is relevant and might piss some if not all of you. Cricket South Africa (eish!) the CEO is black right and his late brother Khaya Majola was known for fighting on behalf talented black players to be considered to play for the national side.  Now as years went by we have only seen one and I mean one talented good black cricket player Makhaya Ntini yet we always see new white players and now I cannot even keep up.  See typical of a black man rather see a number of a new white player than a large number of black new players, and no I am not being racist. Don’t believe me? Ok let me give you another example. Rugby South Africa has a white CEO and majority of the players in the national side are….Come on take a guess…they are white. Now what do you call that, kanti how does this affirmative action work? See white people empower each other, get with the programme black people Julius Malema cannot even save on this one and don’t even try to sing freedom songs to get your way out of it.
 Viva la white people viva and no I won’t shot you so chill
Now tell me wouldn’t you also want to be white.

RIGHT OF THE MEDIA?

The question of wheatear the ability of media and the responsibility they have to society and especially being the watch dog for government has been in the limelight.   The question of the leadership of Jacob Zuma has been in discussed from 2006 right through 2010, from his sexual relationship and the problem of him having more one wife but in the real essences we are not focusing on the president but on how to hand the situation of the media.

Just last year the government offered the proposal to regulaurite media in the country. If this is successful it would mean that the media will have to check with the state before publishing any publication material wheatear in newspaper, radio and television.  Of course this will reduce the full ability to be a journalist in this country.

Now some people would not understand the role of the media in our country. The media is there to act as a watchdog and also be a voice to those whom cannot be heard.  They keep people of government in check and bring forward issues that would not usually be brought in front for attention. Think about if it was not for the media, this country will still be living in apartheid environment and the fruits of our democracy would not have been and still be enjoying. Nelson Mandela would have not gain for much international support if we did not have the media reporting and telling the world about his political   ideologies.

South Africa is a democratic country with a constitution which has a bill of rights that makes provisions for the rights of citizens as well as institutions. These are the same rights that protect and guarantee the media from censorship. Freedom of the press and other media is protected by Section 16(1) of the constitution and grants everyone the right to freedom of expression, including the freedom to receive or impart information or ideas. These are fundamental rights to democracy and they are the basis of a democratic nation.

The right to freedom of the media has also been interpreted as protecting the ‘tools of the trade’ that are integral to various forms of media. Our courts have also recognized the special role that the media play as agents of expression and protectors of democracy: ‘In a system of democracy dedicated to openness and accountability, as ours is, the especially important role of the media, both publicly and privately owned, must in  view be recognized. The success of our constitutional venture depends upon full-bodied criticism of the exercise of power. This requires alert and critical citizens. But strong and independent newspapers, journals and broadcast media are needed also, if those criticisms are to be effectively voiced, and if they are to be informed with the factual content and critical perspectives that investigative journalism may provide.

South African media is not as hush as the international media but in the past years it has been tough on certain individuals for example when President Jacob Zuma was in trail for rape, the media had already gave him a verdicted which was guilty, even after he was found innocent the media still printed me as a rapist and highlighted the fact that South Africa might have a rapist as a president.

If you can remember the late Manto Tshabalala who was the Minister of Health. The media reported a story about her in the Sunday Times about the fact she drinks and smokes and jumped the line of people wanting donors because she is in a higher position. A journalist broke in the hospital where she was and stole her medical documents to verify the story and exposed her to the public nationally. Now this is very good journalism but one cannot agree that it was and still is unethical because if a journalist can break and go through your medical documents and expose you for whatever reason, could our national security be in danger? I mean in my opinion there should be things that they government does not share to the media because powerful information in words can be more dangerous than a gun or a bomb. On the other side the public had the right to know about Manto Tshabalala because she is a public figure whom is in government therefore all she does is taken seriously like if she says as a minister of health tells you to stop drinking because it does not do you any good, people will take that seriously because she is a personal in the health sector therefore whatever information she brings forward must be true.

Question of why the government would want to regulate the media is very important because we need to question of this intention. Is the government hiding something that they do not want the public to know and if so what is it? Does it have the potential to destroy or endanger the people of our country? 

At the same time the media do report on things that put people in danger and even destroy the reputation in society, so if the government is taken in to question by the media for its dealings, who will put and check the media do they job correct and if no who will they have to answer to? In an article done by the Mail and Guardian reporting on what the ANCYL President Julius Malema called,” Malema: 'The media think they are untouchable”. There Malema makes comments about the media not having their facts straight when reporting a story and putting inncent people in danger referring to his situation and he said  the media had put him and his family's lives in danger after the death of AWB leader Eugene Terre'blanche by suggesting that "Malema's songs had contributed" to the murder incident.

In some way it is understandable why he would say because blaming someone for such an act and saying he is responsible for the death of Eugene Terrblance is not right in some way but he is the person that spiked the incident. 

The needs to be an understanding between the government and the media if we want this situation between them to be solved. The media should not be regulated because that will decrease the full ability of the media and the right of freedom and expression will be just a fairytale we tell our children.